My little Superman

I have been here in Africa for a little over a month now.

I see the same beautiful faces everyday.

I wake up early to the continuous cries and giggles.

When I wake up in the morning and walk into the kitchen I put in my ipod into the speakers and see all these kids eat their breakfast while dancing to the usual… “Baby” by Justin Bieber.

This morning wasn’t quite this fun and exciting.

This morning there was one less face in the mix of all the kids.

Early this morning I was woken up by something.

 Didn’t know what was going on.

I couldn’t go back to sleep and had a bad feeling in my stomach.

I finally got out of bed finding my friends in the living room with tears in their eyes.

They told me that our sweet boy, Jojo, had died this morning.

We don’t know what happened.

It’s like he got the breath taken away from him.

When I knew Africa was a sure thing I knew I would learn a lot, grow a lot, and experience more than I ever had.

But this is nothing anyone signs up for.

A child who I had played with just before dinner last night is now gone.

It’s so surreal.

Jojo was no regular kid that’s for sure.

He was the BEST kid anyone could ever ask for though.

He never talked back, he never asked for anything except he would scoot toward you and just want to snuggle in your arms.

He didn’t sleep at the times he was supposed to, but he never bothered anyone.

He was a “strong” boy the mammas keep saying.

A very strong boy he was indeed.

He had a superman onesie to show it too.

He made people laugh at how flexible he was.

He made people smile at his cute noises he made with his mouth.

He made peoples hearts break when he would cuddle up in their arms.

He was Jojo.

He was like a Superman who brought joy to all who was around him.

As hard as today was God always brings beauty out of the hurt and brokenness.

It took a long while to see where the beauty was in all of the mess.

All the grieving from the mammas that loved Jojo so much.

All the kids asking where Jojo was.

All the tears.

All the questions.

It wasn’t easy to see beauty at all.

Then I finally saw it.

I saw the beauty.

Kids kept asking where Jojo was and we got to tell them that he was in heaven with Jesus.

One conversation I had with one of our older boys, Walter, went something like this:

“Auntie, Jojo is where?”

“Jojo is in heaven”

“With who?”

“He is with Jesus”

“Yes, Jojo is doing what?”

“He is dancing and singing”

“To what?”

“What do you think”

“Waka Waka”

“You know it!”

There was something about this conversation that made me smile.

Made me see beauty.

Made me feel comforted.

Then there was beauty in the unity it brought to all of us.

We were all hurting.

Sharing the same pain.

We looked at videos and pictures on my computer with the mammas and laughed and smiled as it reminded us of our precious joyful superman.

We hugged.

We sang.

We laughed.

We most importantly loved.

Which then came along with the kids having extremely good manners and amazing cuddling sessions with them.

The last comfort of beauty that I slowly began to see was how he lived and saw the world.

He didn’t say much.

But man did he love and live life the best he could by making people so happy and loving them.

I learned from this kid.

I learned a lot.

Man, do I miss him.

He is one heck of a kid, but now I am happy to say he is singing and dancing with Jesus.

What a great kid to have in heaven.

Jojo.

We all miss you.

And each of your brothes and sisters pray not only to Jesus when daily prayers are said, but to you as well.

Your Ekisa family loves you and cannot wait until the day we get to see your sweet face again.

Love,

Auntie Grace.

This song.... love it.

Loving unlovely things

“It is comical to think we can do God’s work or Him. It’s all about grace. He allows us to participate with Him, and so there is always enough. He showed me how much I needed Him and the Body of Christ. He is calling us to complete humility and gentleness. It is never about us; It is always about Him. We need patience for every person we encounter in ministry, that we can be long-suffering, bearing with one another in His love, able to love the unlovely. He is our only hope. He is out Lord. Our faith is in Him. We are baptized into Him. We lay down our lives. We die to ourselves in baptism. We are raised new creations in Christ. God is calling each of us to walk in the mercy and grace He has given us. He prepares us for works of service. Do we see what He sees? So we feel what He feels? Can we hear the cry of His heart for the lost? This is poverty of spirit. God is calling us to be poor in spirit. When we are poor in spirit, we no longer compete. We no longer jostle for titles. When we have no drive to be noticed and known, we are not offended by lac of attention. We find no satisfaction in ministry status. Then we can walk in unity, preferring other above ourselves. Our only desire is o live the life of a humble servant- lover of our Lord Jesus.” – Heidi Baker

I was reading a book that a friend of mine gave me just before I left. It is called “Always Enough” By Rolland and Heidi Baker.

These two people are pretty incredible in their walk and obedience to God.

Absolutely blows my mind and really encourages me in so many ways.

When I came to this chunk of my book I kept re-reading it.

I underlined it.

I read it again.

I folded the page down so I could keep reading, but continue to keep going back to it.

I then wrote it in a word document.

I shared it with a friend.

I wasn’t quite sure why I kept going back to it.

I mean it’s not too deep.

It’s pretty straight forward, but it was something I needed to be reminded of right then.

A couple weeks ago a baby named Misach was brought by his mom to Ekisa. He has been brought before when he was born, which was about 10 months ago. He was born with hydrocephalous and AWFUL spina bifida. He go surgery right away and went home to recovery.

He now was at Ekisa because he had malaria and was malnourished.

We took him in seeing that he was 10 months old and only weighing 4.5 kilos.

He was tiny.

Barely moving cause he was so weak.

We poked him so many times trying to get blood, put in an IV in his little little veins, and give him proper treatments for his malaria.

Not once did he cry because he had no energy to.

He was not getting much better and having some more symptoms and our nurse said he also had meningitis.

Then it was time to really start looking after this kid.

A feeding tube was put in.

IV’s were hooked up and the shifts began.

He was to be fed every 2 hours of either medicine or milk.

He was so little and barely hanging on.

So every day for about a week and a half or maybe longer we all took turns feeding him around the clock.

I had some long nights staying up with him watching movies, cuddling with him while I got to feed him and change his diapers.

This kid is a major fighter.

At the end of last week we finally started to see him get bigger and stronger.

He was finally beginning to move his hands tugging at his feeding tube.

He was smiling and crying at the painful pokes.

He was up to 6 kilos now.

Really amazing.

This child has my heart.

We have many snuggle nap times in my bunk.

We sing and laugh together all the time.

It really is a beautiful thing to see him get stronger each day.

God’s beauty through this child is extremely comforting.

His mom is required to come every Tuesday and Thursday to see him.

And honestly it’s hard for me to be patient with her and love her after seeing her child so sick and SO malnourished.

Then this quote and Ephesians 4 kept popping up in my head.

I remembered it had said:

“We need patience for every person we encounter in ministry, that we can be long-suffering, bearing with one another in His love, able to love the unlovely.”

Hmmmm

How true.

It doesn’t matter that she did something that was wrong.

I am to be patient with her and love her hoping that the Lord will work through the others and me and show her love.

Show her we care.

I’m definitely still working on loving her because it hurts my heart to know that she was starving this precious beautiful boy I ADORE, but the Lord is working hard in me.

I have been seeing a difference in the Mother as well.

She is joyful and excited to see her child be so healthy and alert.

She will try to speak to me with the little English she knows.

She thanks us all continuously for helping her child.

Then I think.

It’s not about me.

It’s all about God’s grace, just as Heidi had said.

It’s about the Lord working in Mamma Misach’s life.

Allowing her to see her child alert and smiling.

It’s beautiful.

Baby Misach is a fighter.

He is a blessing in my life, and God has used him to humble me and show me how to love the unlovely.

Misach is STUNNING!

His beauty is unreal.

His beauty is comforting.

Ephesians 4:1-6

Baby Misach before feeding tubes 

Him finally smiling right before taking the tubes out! 

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good! 

 “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

He is my refuge and strength

                            Here I lay in a bunk covered by a mosquito net reading, writing, learning, and worshiping with my roommate.

We all decided we wanted to have a movie night with popcorn and brownies.

The movie choice of the night was “Sleepless in Seattle”

What a GREAT choice.

It has a rockin soundtrack and a sweet storyline to follow.

Not to mention Tom Hanks is one of the main roles and well I think I have said enough haha.

Today was a day that was full of joy.

Today was a day where I opened my eyes to see the world for what it truly is.

Beautiful.

I have been in Africa for almost a week and a half and I have never seen it the way I saw it today.

                                         

People keep asking me how I am doing.

How am I feeling?

How am I adjusting?

Well to say it was extremely easy would be a lie.

It has been an off and on battle.

I am learning that it is ok not to have everything together.

I am learning that I am going to struggle, a lot!

I am learning that life is not as simple as I have seen it before.

Here things have slapped me in the face a little.

A few nights ago my body decided to pretty much explode on me.

My head was about to bust because my migraine got so bad; I was continuously getting up hoping to make it to the bathroom because I was not able to keep anything down.

When you are that sick and not at home in your own bed it gets hard.

I was having discomfort.

I was definitely in a funk that put me in many many tears.

Because I was so frustrated and uncomfortable it was easy for me to look for a way out.

Satan came in at my weakest point and started to tear me down piece by piece.

I began to doubt why I was here.

Began to wonder if I was any help here.

Began to wonder if I just needed to go home…

If you know me these are not the normal thoughts that pop into my head, especially about this place.

I ADORE these kids.

I LOVE this country so much all ready, so for me to even consider to come home because of those reasons was crazy.

[[I do want people to know that I am trying to be more educated on the Ebola outbreak, and if it got to the point where it was near enough to Jinja I would come home for safety. J but no worries I do not have Ebola or had anything serious.]]

I began to believe the lies of Satan.

I sat in bed crying.

Fearing.

I texted my parents and some friends not knowing what to do.

I felt useless and broken.

After hours of this the Lord brought me to my knees.

I began to pray hard.

I began to pray for peace.

Prayed for my dreams that were beginning to get crazy.

Prayed for protection and my sickness.

Praying against the evil lies and fears I was having.

Praying the Lord would allow me to see where I needed to go.

As I was praying I also had others praying over me that night.

As I was praying I remembered this verse:

 “ The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

I finally went to sleep and woke up the next morning about noon.

I was feeling so good it honestly felt like a miracle.

I was not sick with anything specific.

I was just still adjusting to everything here.

But the biggest thing was not that I was feeling better and able to play with the kids, but that I had peace.

I knew I was supposed to be exactly where I am.

I was to stay.

I began to be still in the presence of God.

Trusting that he was fighting for me.

And he was.

The day began to be more beautiful to me.

I saw the kids that I already loved and adored differently.

The sun was setting and it was the first sunset I had noticed.

We went out of the gate to take pictures with the kids running behind us.

They wanted to go on a walk with their Aunties and see the beauty of the sunset that God was making.

While we were walking we stood there in awe of the colors He made this sunset to be.

Dittee, Jamil, and Jason would scream with excitement from the beauty of it!

I instantly was comforted.

I had three beautiful kids of the Lord holding my hands and my back while watching a beautiful sunset.

His beauty in all aspects of the word is extremely comforting.

I am thankful and rejoice in His truth, peace, and beauty.

Not to say it will be easy from here on out.

Honestly, I expect it to get harder, but I am prepared for the fight and ready to put on the full armor of God and be in a battle with Him as my strength.

My refuge.

My power.

And my beautiful Heavenly Father.

With love and a prepared heart,

Mary Grace

I really love this song and putting it on repeat is the best!